You know you are fat when an old man asks you if you are here for the bariatric surgery...and when you say "no" he proceeds to tell you why you should reconsider. Really? Just because you are a mean old geezer that has to wear oxygen everywhere you go doesn't mean I should ask YOU if you are here for a lung transplant.
P.S.
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."
- Phyllis Diller
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